Ides Of March

March 15th is the ides of March made famous by Plutarch and then, later, Shakespeare. This is the day that Julius Caesar was betrayed by his friends and fellow senators. Probably the most famous line is the one from Shakespeare, “Et tu, Brute?”, because Caesar was shocked to see his friend, Brutus, among the assassins. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about betrayal lately. Rev. Roland brought up the betrayal of Judas during his sermon on Sunday. I’ve been working on forgiveness in connection group and I’ve been revisiting betrayals I have endured.

All this as been on my mind but I’m not going to write about that because that’s not been my main thought concerning betrayal. Nope. I keep thinking about how other people can betray us and it hurts but when your own body betrays you then it’s horrible.

My body betrays me in ways my frenemies never have. Earlier this year I was sidelined with an ankle sprain that kept me immobile for almost a month. My lower back constantly gives out. My digestive track beats me up if I eat certain foods after a certain time. 

Then there’s my mental health. My thoughts are always betraying me. Brafly moves into my headspace and makes me doubt. Depression is the biggest betrayer. One day I’m “normal”, enjoying the day and then the darkness overtakes. It’s a bitch.

Beware the ides of March. Beware the betrayals, known and unknown.

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